Male Menopause: Are Late Life Changes Inevitable?

Ok, here’s the deal. Women have always maintained that men are the cause of all their ailments, and now it’s official. Because it’s a universal truth that men cannot stand to be outdone, in their predictable one upmanship, they have come up with a syndrome parallel to menopause, and dubbed it andropause.

Call it mid-life crisis, the seven-year itch, or whatever you like – there exists all kinds of controversy about whether this affliction actually exists, or whether it’s made up. And though not emphatically stated, we know it has been known to linger into old age.

Getting older scares the pants off some men and basically the entire thing becomes an epiphany; causing a massive shift in responsibilities and grasp on reality. Before male menopause, dominant behaviour may have been eating with the hands the minute the wife left the room, or using nail clippers to trim nose hair. Now andropause conduct is said to cause an undeniable urge to buy a convertible – of any color – to let the wind roar through the hair. Never mind that the precariously balanced hairpiece will rip to shreds in the wind.

But seriously, testosterone is the primary hormone which allows men to stoke their metabolic furnace – until they lose it. That’s right, men don’t exactly keep everything they had in their youth, especially when it comes to testosterone. By the age of 55, the amount of testosterone secreted into the bloodstream is significantly lower than it was just ten years earlier. In fact, by age 80, most male hormone levels decrease to – gasp – pre-puberty levels.

It gets worse. Andropause is also associated with ever increasing estrogens (from testosterone). It is not uncommon for a man of retirement age to have more estrogen in his body than women of the same age. Whereas menopausal women experience mid-life madness, where cheesy’s and chocolate bon bon’s go hand in hand with crying binges and morning bloating, some men at this stage exhibit the need to prove their manhood by chasing after younger women.

Suddenly the misplaced male libido is elevated to the stratospheric heights of Tony Randall and Anthony Quinn, who fathered children in their eighties. Men call them heroes; women call them irresponsible – go figure. It doesn’t matter that these fellows might never be able to throw a baseball to their son; what matters to their admirers is that they are still potent. Never mind that fighting the good fight when you’re 30 is tough enough. Add 50 years, and you’ve got to wonder about a man’s sanity.

Those men who still retain their dignity through this period may feel it signifies the beginning of the end. Nothing could be further from the truth. As a dear friend (I’ll call him John) used to say: “to be worthy of growing old you have to appreciate entering an age where you learn life’s true meaning.” John was fiercely proud of his 94 years, and his magnificent presence was like a stout oaken beam on which the weight of the world was firmly resting. He understood he had accumulated a pile of years too big to sweep under the rug and too many to taint with a terrified floundering.

Right to the end, John’s priorities took on a positive change; like spending more quality time with his family and committing efforts to things of value. This change yielded a peaceful relationship between himself and life – or in other words – a beautiful awakening.

Social Connectedness Links Seniors To Community

How well do seniors remain involved within their community? It is vitally important that older people interact socially with others, filling roles that are respected and valued.

“During the October 2005 Premier’s Congress on Aging and Senior’s Issues, Dr. John Helliwell of the University of British Columbia argued that social connectedness – engagement within our communities and others in our society – is key to the quality of life for older people.” (Report: Aging Well In British Columbia)

For this reason, their integration and inclusion in society should be based upon a concept of services for all people, over that of services for older adults based solely on age. Some might argue this is splitting peas and that the latter is essential to address special needs. While this may be true in certain circumstances, it also leads to ageist attitudes towards older people – a sort of ‘them’ and not ‘us’ issue.

Media portrayals of seniors have been steadily reinforcing this outdated stereotype; obscuring the active and engaged reality many of them live in. For example, the other day an octogenarian (over eighty years old) almost succeeded in performing a full one legged squat in front of my astounded eyes. I can assure you that many people in their prime cannot do this complex exercise. His spontaneous conversation, outgoing mannerism and obvious physical dexterity proves that in many cases, our perception of seniors is one that has been shaped for us, and is contrary to reality.

Another challenge towards full societal participation is with ethno cultural minorities, recent immigrants, aboriginal elders or those who have trouble communicating in English. Difficulties may manifest in translation services in the health system or cultural specific services in residential care and acute care facilities.

Government and service providers need to collaborate more closely with these groups to make sure services are fully accessible and culturally appropriate. This might involve members of these communities in development of services to ensure they meet critical needs.

Volunteerism also plays an important role in providing independence, social interaction and quality of life for older people, and most of this comes from their peers. Statistics Canada says that nearly a third of people over 65 volunteered in 2004 – more than any other age group. Non-profit agencies further contribute in this cause, with financial support from government, businesses and individuals. This arrangement is urged to continue, according to the Report of the Premier’s Council on Aging and Seniors Issues.

Another important social connection is public information, which helps older people remain independent and involved. Local governments need to be better placed to work in developing and maintaining a database of successful initiatives and resources which serve or engage seniors. Resources from groups such as the Union of BC Municipalities, and the Rural BC Network make for a proactive effort.

It won’t be easy to change outlooks and habits. But given the magnitude of senior demographic growth, addressing these issues early is not only prudent, but economically wise.

 

 

 

 

Gratitude Can Open Windows To The Past

I love the business of helping seniors. The diversity, background, experiences and colourful characters I come into contact with daily is a real treat. I am continuously reminded that I am receiving a valuable education every time I listen to the sage words of those who have gone through a lifetime of experiences.

In this exposure to life, many have found the time to practice the expression of gratitude, as an effective antidote to troubles, insecurities, concerns and emotional distress. We, the younger generation can learn much from such a simple virtue, and especially those who come into frequent contact with seniors.

I received a telephone call from a lady about 85 years old the other day, who had been treated in an extremely discourteous way by a businessman. This individual not only caused the lady to miss a doctor’s appointment, but also used off-colour and derogatory language with no regard to her. From the tone of her voice, it sounded like she was left feeling helpless and somewhat victimized. Still, even though the help was carried out in a callous and inexcusable manner, she was appreciative of the service she received. What a contrast in generations.

Anyway, maybe this fellow was having a hard day, or he wasn’t feeling well. Perhaps he was cranky from working too many hours supporting his family. It happens to all of us. But perhaps his perspective on life is skewered because of a failure to understand what the older generation has endured.

For example: question them and you will find an amazing array of experiences, revealing authentic character. You might be talking to a frail octogenarian who never complains, because she learned in “Auschwitz” what unspeakable suffering is. Or the long retired Colonel, who as a young officer had won a medal of valour for his part in an offensive into enemy territory over a Pacific Island.

What about the gentleman who served with Merrill’s Marauders, the survivor of the Bataan Death March or the soldier who rushed the beach at Dieppe? We have many veterans living in the South Okanagan who deserve our gratitude.

Further, there are those who have sacrificed a lifetime building up businesses which are the framework for what we have, see and enjoy today. Inventors, philosophers, scientists, thinkers, parents – all were part of a past which has shaped our present.

I will argue that we, who have the privilege of serving the older generation, should be grateful – every single day. We have an obligation to the elderly, not merely because of benefits received but because of the many sacrifices made on our part above the call of duty. The things they did for us and everyone else are priceless.

Author Melodie Beattie once said: “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

So in advice to the businessman, I would remind him that we are losing an incredible generation, and that perhaps we don’t know what we are losing. The things done for us are not a matter of course, but originate in a will for the good; directed at us. We should all take note and remember with the liberal use of the most important words in the world: Thank you